(for ‘Raman Effect’, the wall mag in the hostel)
OK guys, so what have you been up to in the last year? Much traffic has flown through the B.T. road (alas, no nearby river to refer) since the last ‘Of Cupid and Hoodlums’, a couple of ‘Ripples’ being held since as well. And none of you dedicated anything to ‘her’? Ah yes, now you’ll tell me that I advised you last time to follow the middle path by being balanced in line maarna, but c’mon, spare a thought for the audience. Play to the galleries at least once in a while, otherwise what will I write about??
Of course it takes only two to tango, but you can’t ignore the fact that without the third person plural number, it’s nothing… only a ‘spark in the dark’ (eh? eh??). So you should shed some light on yourselves, otherwise, suddenly out of nowhere you two will find yourselves being hunted by a horde of overenthusiastic (B/L)hostellers. You might argue for the sake of privacy, but I say you’ll get that anyway by being brave and somewhat clear because we get more interested the more you act coy about it.
Sample this. You go out with her on panchami night along the raaste inside Bonhooghly, later you are heard inside the hostel… no problem. But why deny it flatly when asked later? Why why, aisa why?? That brings me to ‘Cry Cry’ of course… a perfect example of what the crowd is capable of! It’s still beyond my comprehension. Coming back to you two, eventually the cat did come out of the bag during the tour in winter, and now you have to act incognito in the mess and have your ‘us’ time cataloging books in the English library. Of course don’t think that we are complaining… at least the library is opening everyday now! Gone are the days of ‘P.S. I Love You’, and we know that, however much you want to marginalize it.
Outside they’ve got gossip mags, and inside we have our very own ‘Sansani…’. A section of the crowd loves it, and the other section loves to hate it, but can’t ignore it. Thanks to Fb, news (fact or fiction) travels real fast now, like uncannily correlated pieces of information about the penguin couple, or personally taking care to add your ‘special one’ to the group… nothing escapes our notice. So why not come out with it? After all there’s always the possibility of your being ‘committed’ officially getting celebrated by batchmates, complete with cakes and all. Remember, we’re always there for you… like those bhaats during dinner in the mess or umpteen late nights of ecstasy, when we sympathized with your grief-stricken soul unable to make out what more you should do to win her over (it’s a different matter that you left us wondering exactly how much you did till then on that front), provided you with ‘expert’ advices and ideas about SMS-ing, yet had the goodwill to restrain you when you offered to take a (supposedly) fellow aashiq of hers (again, eh???) to go and give her a kiss.
Look, you need to be cool… as cool as the junior cucumber. So what if we compare the dancing styles of you two or have to wait for half an hour in the tour bus? Just take care of your Prem ki Naiyya! So what if we turn up at your door for class notes, in the middle of you teaching Galois theory? Just open the door and give the copy! So what if we hover around with cell-phone cams in hand? Just go and play carom with her! Fear not brother, we won’t be ruining your romance… that is for sure. We might be a tad overenthusiastic, because we’re always searching for that next scoop of gossip, and we LOVE to see you getting pissed off… oh yeah! But one thing’s for sure, hum log dil se achchhe hai. Who knows, by mistake sometimes we might act as loveguru as well, and give your prowess a welcome shot in the arm. After all, ‘United we stand, divided we fall’, Tai na??